


Echoes with no answers

by Verse



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Gen, POV Outsider, berserker guda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26729362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verse/pseuds/Verse
Summary: And it dawns on you that you know them, this servant. Not the way one knows history or myths. Youknowthem. You shared a class two decades ago.(How come no one told you they'd died?)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Echoes with no answers

It’s somewhere at the end of the first week of the war that you realize that you don’t know your servant’s name.

Not the true one, obviously. You know that one. Humanity's last master, the master of Chaldea, you’ve heard more far-fetched titles these past few days that you've ever cared to know. Some of them _have_ to be made-up, but you're too new to mage society to tell. And your servant makes a point in being as unhelpful as possible regarding their past, it seems.

But, you mean, as in. Their actual name. What their parents called them.

So you ask, one day, while they’re browsing through your mangas.

Their answer gives you pause

“... I knew someone by that name once.”

“Good on them!” They reply. “It’s a good name. I like it a lot!”

They do that a lot. Saying things that miss completely the point.

(They do a lot of things you’re not quite comfortable with.)

It’s been a week, and while you’ve seen Berserker, you’ve never quite _looked_ at Berserker. You can’t help but wince at the sight of the scars, sue you.

But for some reason, right now, you decide to. For old time’s sake. See how different your crazy servant is from most-normal-folk-in-the-land Fujimaru.

…

“They had your hair color.” You think. You haven’t seen them, in… a while. Isn’t it sad? You two were best friends, back in high school. God. That feels like an eternity ago.

“Oh, I like this person already.” Berserker rolls on their back, tilting their head to look at you with their sole eye. “Did they also like the Ushiwakamaru song? Because that’s, like, the best thing _ever.”_

_... H._

“… yes. They did.”

… You have a feeling. A feeling you would very, _very_ much like to ignore.

Berserker whines. “Come on, tell me more about your friend!

“No.” Suddenly you don’t like this conversation anymore. “It doesn’t matter. We’re not even friends anymore. Friends talk to each other. We grew apart a while ago.”

“Aw, don’t be like that. You may forget people, but you never forget how they make you feel. Emotions!” They slam their closed fist onto their belly. “That’s important. Memories erode, sanity is easily swayed, but you can always trust your heart.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” You don’t mean to sound so cutting, but you just want the conversation to be _over._

“Of course.” They reply, blissfully unaware of your irritation. “Believe it or not, I was a normal human, once.”

Shut up.

Shut up.

SHUT UP.

“You are not _my_ friend.” You almost spit.

“Certainly!” And they’re almost beaming. “Your friend was a human, were they not?”

“Yes. They were. When they walked, one heard them. When they spoke, they could hold onto one train of thought. They’ve never done anything heroic. They were as normal as they come. Someone like them could never be like those heroes the Holy Grail War is made of.”

Your voice is trembling.

“You’d be surprised by what people can do when pressured to.” They roll onto their stomach again. “But then again, I don’t know your friend.”

This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. 

Wrong face. Wrong voice. Wrong reactions to thing. Wrong _gait._

“My friend would recognize me.”

They snort. “I’m sure they would! Lord knows _I_ wouldn’t recognize my own mother.”

…

“I’m sorry.”

Berserker blinks. “What for?” 

“I don’t know, you… don’t you think that’s fucked up? Is it the madness enhancement that does that do you? Or were you like that in life too?”

They shrug.

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Why would it? I can move. I can see the world. I can taste good food. I can love. By god, I can _love._ Do you think me pitiful?”

Their skin is marred with scars. They look young, barely in their twenties. You don't think they got to grow much older before they died. They forget things. when they speak, they go all over the place.

What isn't there to pity here?

They seem displeased by your lack of answer. They frown, and a low growl comes from their throat. (It’s the first time you’ve seen them annoyed at all.)

”Of course you would. They all do.” They sigh. “Happiness isn’t enough, isn't it. Being alive isn’t enough. They always want more, always think I should want more, to go back, to be back." They shake their head. "I envy Theseus’s boat. Everyone agrees patching up the holes is a _good_ thing. No one ever mourns the rotten planks.”

They push themself up on their palms, sit up. They’re looking at you.

(They’ve never looked straight at you.)

“Do not stand upon my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> anon on tumblr: Guda gets summoned by someone who seems vaguely familiar, and eventually realizes that this was someone important to them before. A friend, a relative. Someone they should know and love and want to protect, and they do, really. Abstractly. (They don't recognize Guda at all.)


End file.
